【英検1級・準1級】英作文を添削し合うスレ
主旨
作文の練習と添削の練習。
作文が好きな人や苦手な人も切磋琢磨していきましょう！
・お題(Topic)もつけて投稿しましょう。
・スペルチェックは最低限やりましょう。
・自信がない人は日本語訳もつけてもいいと思います。
・添削のお礼は忘れずに。
※ここでの添削は必ず正しいとは限りませんので注意
【英検1級】
例題：
● Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
● Give THREE reasons to support your answer.
● Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion
● Suggested length: 200–240 words
TOPIC
Does the Japanese government have much control over the economy?
【英検準1級】
例題：
● Write an essay on the given TOPIC.
● Use TWO of the POINTS below to support your answer.
● Structure: introduction, main body, and conclusion
● Suggested length: 120-150 words
TOPIC
Agree or disagree:
Teenagers should avoid using Social Networking Services
POINTS
● Safety
● Information literacy
● Education
● Personal relationships
(Topic)
Will the time when AI replaces human
employees come in
the future?
First of all,today,the technology around AI has been progressing remarkably.We can often see that a diversity of AI are used in many ways these days,
[AI is remarkably indispensable for our lives.]の一分が前節5番の最後の部分と重複して打ってしまいました｡無いものとして下さい。
内容はいいのでカンマの挿入が不自然だったり、文を無理に長くしているので気をつければいいと思います。
以下は添削。指摘があれば返信よろしくです。
※First of all と書くなら、２番目以降はSecond,・・・ Last,・・・に統一するべきだと思う。
There are the following three reasons to support my opinion.
→There are three reasons to support my opinion:
the following がくどいと思う。:(コロン)を付ければ同じ意味になる。
First of all,today,the technology around AI has been progressing remarkably.
→First of all, the technology around AI has been progressing remarkably today.
あとにtodayを持ってくるほうがすっきりしている。
We can often see that a diversity of AI are used in many ways these days,
→ We often see that a diversity of AI has been used in many ways these days.
文を一度区切る。canは不要。has beenとする。
For example, they have already been introduced to the automation systems in factories, or the medical analysis,public transportations and so on.
→orは不要。
That is that AI is remarkably indispensable for our lives in modern society.
→That is thatがおかしい。つまりと言いたいなら、That is (to say), とカンマで区切る。
→for our lives in modern societyがくどいので、for our modern livesなどにする。
In the aspects concerning with people's life, in particular,human errors might cause magnificient accidents.
→In the aspects concerning people's life でwith 不要です。human errors in particularの方がカンマが無くてすっきり。
In that sense, AI would be more reliable than human labors.
→一度区切る。
Furthermore, they can find those faults and prevent the accidents from happening.
→AIを受けるのでtheyでなくit. thoseだと何を指しているかわからないのでhuman faultsとする。
Last, the number of seniors is increasing rapidly in the world.
→has been とする。
Aging society may lead to the shortage of workforce, moreover,an inevitable problem that concerns about the medication for seniors.
→, and moreover an inevitable problem...とする。andが必要。
In fact, AI has been already introduced to help doctors analyze the points of diseases before surgeries at the major integrated hospitals in big cities.
→introduced以外にもdeployedもバリエーションとしては使える。
→pointは位置・場所という意味はないので、locationsやspotsを使う。disease, surgeryは一般化して複数形でなくてもいいと思う。
In aging society, AI may play a greater role as workforce in many industries, or as a main brain in medical scenes.
→ societyはここでは複数。a part of workforceとする。a main brainはあまり見ない表現なので a managerの方がいいかと思います。
According to these reasons stated above, it could be said that the time when AI replaces human labors will come eventially sooner or later.
→According to these reasons stated aboveは不自然だと思う。eventuallyのスペルミス。それにカンマが。eventually, sooner or later.
終わり
大変分かり易く適切ですね！修正後のを書き下ろして保存し今後の見本とさせて頂きます｡助かります。有難うございました！
お粗末な添削でした
こちらも添削の練習になるので、またその気になったら投稿してください！
(Topic)
Agree or disagree:
Paper books and magazines should be replaced completely by online services
(Predictable points/use 3 points)
･Cost
･Reduction of waste･Consumer's preference
･Educational issue
･Convenience
Online services for books and magazines have been prevalent today.
→オンラインサービスはbooks and magazinesの他にもあるので【他との対照のThe：ジーニアス辞書】としてThe online servicesとする。
Thoes are helpful for busy persons such as officeworkers or students who do not have enough time to read books.
→Thoseのスペルミス。
This trend may be expected to continue in the future.
→OK
There are the following three reasons to support my opinion.
→前回と同じ指摘、:（コロン）がベターかと。
To begin with, the online service could decline the cost in many cases.
→※注意：decline は自動詞の用法しかないので目的語the costをとれない。
The cost of online service could decline in many cases.が正解。
For instance, many who want to read books and magazines would have to purchase them at bookstores in a town in case of paper supplies,
→at a bookstore とし、in a townと統一。
in case of paper suppliesは不自然だと思うので、
For instance, many who want to read 【paper】 books and magazines would have to purchase them at bookstores in a town,
and publishers of books should usually use a huge amount of papers to print many books and magazines.
→publishers of booksは普通はthe book publishers。theは【他との対照のThe：ジーニアス辞書】他のnewspaper publishersなどと対称する。
should usuallyは主張したい主旨に関係ないので不要。and the book publishers use a huge amount of papers to print many books and magazines.
In addition, those book suppliers generally need lots of shops to have them sell their products.
→have them sell their productsはおかしい。単純にto sellにする。
On the other hand, the online service would not need the cost for both of them who demand and supply the service itself.
→オンラインサービスが電子ブックなのを想定しています。ネットショップという意味なら再度文を検討。
On the other hand, the e-books does not cost [ include ] a shipping fee.
Secondly, providing online services can reduce paper wastes in particular.
→waste
providing ebooks can reduce paper waste in particular.
Today, myriad of the printed have been dispensed every year.
→Today, myriad of the printed materials have been dispensed every year.
Moreover, so many offices, schools, hospitals, for example, usually discard a lot of papers.
→a lot of paper
Paper garbages might be estimated to be an enormous amount of tons in the world.
→The amount of waste paper is estimated to be enormous in the world.
That is, reducing paper wastes is becoming a severe problem environmentally in modern societies.
→紙くずを減らすことは深刻な問題ではないので、 becoming significant
Lastly,above all, the online service has an advantage in the sense of convenience.
→Lastly, the online service above all has an advantage in the sense of convenience.
In general people may have to go to bookstores to buy books when they want to read them whether they were busy or not.
→OK
Furthermore, books are often bulky for people to bring along and keep them.
→OK
However, the online book service could solve these problems because of its convenience, paperless and quickness.
→paperlessness
According to these reasons, the online book service would have replaced them of paper supplies eventually in the future.
→the online book service would replace paper eventually in the future.
According to these reasons stated aboveは不自然だと思う。と前回言いましたが訂正します。すみません。
終わり
早々にレスポンス下さり有難うございます！本当に恐縮です｡パラグラフごとにやって頂いて､本当にわかりやすく助かります｡やはり奥が深いですね｡試験まで気が抜けないです｡これでサンプルが2つ頂けましたのでなんとか自力で頑張ります｡有難うございました！
訂正
あとでネイティブに確認したところ
does not cost とはできませんでした。
charge か include は可能とのこと。
ご丁寧に有難うございます｡了解致しました!
今年10月の英検1級で32点中26点(単語:6/8、文法:7/8、構成:6/8、内容:7/8)を取れた時の英作文を投下しますね↓
第1段落
There are so many people who say that a university degree in the humanities has lost its relevance in today's society, but I disagree with this idea.
There are three reasons to support my idea.
第2段落
The first reason is that academic fields of humanities are the basis of our ways of thinking, even if we have already graduated from universities.
For example, studying philosophy often improves our skills of critical thinking, and comparing our culture with different cultures can make our views wide.
These facts must be the evidence that academic fields of humanities are useful for us, even in today's society.
第3段落
The second reason is that academic fields of humanities are also the basis of other sciences.
For instance, history is the important aspect of examining economics, political science, and so on.
In addition, humanities often affect the way of comprehending sciences, such as physics and mathematics.
We can say that there are no sciences which are not related to humanities.
第4段落
The third reason is that, by studying humanities, we can become cultural people(←cultured peopleのミス).
We can easily be hired from corporations if we are cultural people.
That's because corporations want to hire those people, and cultural people often give their corporations the new way of thinking. This will contribute to their company's success.
第5段落
For these reasons, I believe that studying humanities must be important even in today's world.
------------------------------
まあ↑で文法ミスとか単語ミスとか色々やらかしてる箇所もいくつかあるけど、
この程度の平凡な英語が書ければ英検1級でも充分合格点が取れるようです。(ちなみにCSEスコアは747だった)
素直ないい構成だと思う｡あの試験時間の括りの中で書いたにしては充分だろ｡そんでも6点は引かれんだな｡
何か書いてみましょう！
by準1級W15/16
>>41
★ 『DUO 3.0 ／ザ・カード』は、スピーキングのトレーニングに使える ★
興味がある方は、以下のブログタイトルで検索をお願いします。
ガラパゴス English からの脱出！
Will free trade profit third world countries?
I think free trade can pave a way for the prosperity of third world countries.
I have two reasons to support my idea.
First, free trade means more business opportunities between the participant countries. This can lead to a creation of the huge job market. With the economy growing,
the government can expect higher amount of tax revenue which then can be spent to fulfill more welfare services to help the poor get out above the poverty line.
This can lead to fill the gap between the rich and poor, making the societies more equitable and comfortable for their citizens.
Second, free trade can help participant nations tie their relationships even stronger as well as those among private companies.
For example, free trade can act as a starter to set out new scientific projects,
where people from both public and private sectors cooperate to achieve various things such as exploring space and developing the cutting edge IT technologies.
This fact gives them an edge over other developed nations, possibly transforming their countries to join developed nations.
In conclusion, I think free trade is good for the developing countries.
We should do our share by supporting free trade movements in order to make the world a better place.
How can people help endangered species?
Humans can be selfish in a way that they exploit natural resources at the expense of our valuable wilderness.
It's been an important mission to save animals from extinction as the diversity of species is rapidly shrinking.
I think there are two measures we can take to save endangered species.
One measure we can think of is that preserving as many natures as possible.
We can do this by reserving the patches of land as a national park.
There, a group of nature lovers can plant nursery trees to expand the forests for animals to live in.
The government should also provide those volunteers with financial aids to expedite the recovery of the ecological balance.
Another thing we can do is educate the public to raise the awareness of nature preservation.
For example, we can make films regarding the endangered species and broadcast on TV or upload them to YouTube.
If succeeds, people including those from business sectors will shift to use more eco-friendly goods or services.
After all, endangered animals are like our distant siblings sharing this small planet, the earth.
There's no reasons we don't save those animals that our mother nature has created.
Like those dinosaurs, we cannot bring them back to life if they became extinct.
→the species diversity is being lost rapidly.
１．diversity of speciesでも正解だけど、species diversityという用語が定着してる
２．コロケーションの問題として、diversityがshringするという表現はまれ
３．rapidlyの位置を動詞の後ろに置いた方が、「急速に」種の多様性が減っていることが強調される
→The first measure
two measuresがあると既に述べてしまっているので定冠詞が必要
（内容はこれから説明する場合でも）
oneとanotherをセットにして優先順位つけずに並べる方法もあると思うけど、
２つのパラグラフが離れすぎてるので、firstとsecondのセットにする方がお勧め
これだと3つ以上並べたいときにも使える
Another thing we can do is educate the public
→Another thing we can do is to educate the public （もしくはa social eduction activity）
Another thingを受ける言葉は少なくとも名詞形であって欲しい
内容の矛盾がどの程度の減点になるか知らないけど、
valuable wildernessが失われてるから、plant nursery treeしようって話は変だと思われる。
天然林と人工林の違い。日本はスギヒノキだらけにして天然林を壊した。
あとネイティブがエッセイとして学校とか資格試験で提出する文章は、
省略形使いまくって大丈夫だろうか。E-mail文とかを想定してるなら許されるかも知れないけど。
If succeeds → If it succeedsとか
Like those dinosaurs
→Like dinosaurs
何か事前に説明があればthose dinosaursで良いと思う。
ありがとうございました！
Has a university degree in the humanities lost its relevance in today's world?
In the age of technology-driven global societies, even mainstream educated people claim that humanities are a dying area of study.
However, humanities specialists are clearly necessary in the interest of deplomacic relations, sustainable innovations, and foundation of arts.
First, while the internet and other relevant technology have made the world smaller, our main focus now is to strengthen relationships with other nations and avoid any potential conflicts.
Humanities graduates has a strong command of language, as well as a wide range of world historical backgrounds, and cultures, all of which are useful in maintaining peaceful international relations.
Humanities scholars can also contribute by conducting the analysis of countries' political situations and intentions.
Second, the rate at which the technological paradigm shift happens is increasing exponentially.
This means that we will be so dependent on inventions like sentient robots that we don't even know what they are thinking.
How do these AIs act against the situation resemble to a trolley problem? Humanities experts can help solve these conundrums our technologies bring.
Third, many studies predict that, one day, we will be free from work due to the heavy automation process for productions and services.
The resurgence of Renaissance is sure to come.
Humanities will be a dominant feild of study. Humans focus to both create and preserve arts.
Degree holders in philosophy, religion, and literature will play a major role in creating meaningful online content. These movements will enrich our cultures.
In summary, humanities are not a study with no relevance. It will be a key source of our new wisdom and knowledge for years to come.
Agree or disagree: Japan will benefit overall from hosting the 2020 Summer Olympics.
Hosting Olympics in your own country is a dream come true.
However, it has various negative impacts on both before and after the Olympics games.
First, since the 1960s, no nation has successfully stayed within budget for the overall preparation of the Olympics.
The initial estimated figures shown by the hosting municipal governments are often end up being fictitious minimum amounts, and people witness the cost overruns that are going beyond the initial budget.
Not only infrastructures but also security and logistics renovations are needed to accommodate tourists and athletes within the city.
Second, many of the specialized sports stadiums fell into disuse after the Olympics games.
Moreover, the regular maintenance costs these studiums entails thereafter give so much financial burden to the hosting city.
Building those structures in the middle of the city doesn't make any business sense as it ruins the city's maximum potential use of huge patches of land, and this in turn, affects the local economy negatively.
Third, some residents, if not many, need to be forcefully removed in securing the Olympics venues.
Take Brazil for example, there are many cases where local residents confront police forces, protesting that they don't give up their land ownership for minimum compensation.
Also, the celebratory atmosphere in the city can lead to the deterioration of public security.
In conclusion, the disadvantages of hosting the Olympics clearly outweigh the advantages.
Varous economics consequences and inconvenience to local citizens are certainly best avoided.
The title is given, so make a sentence.
「The heavy earthquake in the world」
theが要ると思う
>>56
アドバイスありがとうございます。
また、挑戦するのでよろしくお願いします！
Q: Should the developed world help developing countries overcome poverty?
A menace by the poverty begins to approach in our closeness.
Personally I believe that the developed world should help developing countries overcome poverty for the following three reasons.
First, the poverty becomes one of the causes of terrorism.
In recent years, many people around the world were killed by terrorism.
Ordinary people in the world cannot know information in advance about when and where terrorism occurs.
Unless terrorism can fade away around the world, people must worry about terrorism forever.
Second, in poor countries, there are a lot of crimes.
One example of this is to steal baggage of travelers in order to get money for criminals’ lives.
Native people in those countries think that foreigners are rich.
Therefore, travelers are targeted. It is easier to involve in a crime while traveling in poor countries, even though ordinary people do.
Furthermore, in particular, illegal organ trade occurs in poor nations.
There are many people around the world who suffer from damaged organ.
Some of them are eager to get healthier organ as soon as possible, even though the cost is too expensive.
When both buyers and sellers of illegal organ trade agree with the crime, sellers can get a lot of money.
This crime will not disappear as far as there is poverty.
In conclusion, for these three reasons, the menace of terrorism, protection of travelers' items, and illegal organ trade,
I think that the developed world should help developing countries overcome poverty.
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
上記の正体
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
自己解決。
ネイティブに添削して頂きました。
ありがとうございました。
※DMM.COMのDMM英会話→「お子様でも安心してレッスンできる。 」
※DMM.COMのリンク先AV会社の販売商品→「下校途中の小●生を付け狙い拉致ってR誘拐ドキュメント」
ふところが深くスケールが無限大に大きいとしかいいようがない。
稀有な存在で非常に貴重。他社が小さく見える。
なお、"下校途中の小●生を付け狙い拉致ってR誘拐ドキュメント"
は是非ぐぐって内容を確かめてくれ。
このキチガイ連呼の工作員は、証拠があがってバレてるのだから、雇い主はこいつを即刻解雇しないと評判落とす。
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
上記の正体
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
上記の正体
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
上記の正体
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
I guess he’s just a troll.
There are many trolls who have been trying to control discussions on 2ch
and he seems to be one of them. If not, he is just a compulsive liar who
has the desire to rape women.
He takes on different personalities and tries to deceive you by making
the thread look like it has many users and active discussions, using
multiple IDs and phones. Never take what he’s saying seriously . His
English skills are very poor and what he’s saying doesn’t make sense at all.
He is in this English forum all day and immediately replies when he is
criticized. He easily gets irritated and he can’t help but post his ridiculous
opinions in the thread. What’s wrong with him?
His way of speaking is unique, so even if he varied his speaking tone, I
could notice it easily.
Once it’s exposed that he’s taking on different personalities by using many IDs and phones, he always starts to abuse people who pointed
it out, making it look like multiple people are attacking them.
and he keeps saying ridiculous things making himself look bigger.
Because he has a bad influence on other English learners.
He continues saying it’s easy to think in English, although he can never
do it. And he acts as if he is an English teacher with awesome English
skills, and claims that his opinions are correct.
His English is literally terrible, but he can’t realize it because he doesn’t
have decent English grammar knowledge.
The reason why he made another thread “isn’t “Think in English” funny?”
is because he just wants to say that he can think in English. Needless to
say, he can’t do it. He doesn’t want to discuss how to learn English but
just get a sense of superiority against other English beginners. Even if
what he’s saying is a lie, it doesn’t matter to him.
He just want to enjoy a sense of superiority. That is the reason why he
said that he attended an American college for a long time and now is an
English teacher in the thread.
I guess he has lived a life of misery in real life, so he is doing a troll, he
lies like he breathes and takes on different personalities in this English
forum to give himself a sense of superiority.
entrance exams. He has no idea how to study for the exams. He often
says that he is really good at reading and writing English because he
studied English for the exams, but it’s an obvious lie.
A lot of students have to study many subjects to pass the exams. They
can’t spend too much time on English writing, so most of them can’t
write English well. That’s a thing in people who have experienced the
exams, but he doesn’t know it at all.
I’m pretty sure that he has a strong complex about not going to college,
so he just want to act as if he is a person with a college degree who has
awesome English skills. That is the reason why he’s in this English forum
all day and is doing a troll.
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9b23-9NGj=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
上記の正体
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 055f-9NGj＝ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9b23-9NGj=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6=ﾜｯﾁｮｲ 9269-hooH=ｽｯﾌﾟSdb2-cca7＝HKW 0H71-W+7L＝ｱｳｱｳｴｰ Sada-Xm7k
629名無しさん＠英語勉強中 (ﾜｯﾁｮｲ f623-EKn6)2019/04/23(火) 00:23:38.04ID:H4R4EKL00
>>628
Z会との結びつきが強くなったから
近い将来レアがDMMの質を超える可能性はあるんだけど
現時点では圧倒的にDMM.
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1440330844/629
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
キチガイ連呼は工作員の証。
この英文は英語板の工作員がGoogle翻訳使って書いてる
騙されたらダメだよ
人文科学の大学の学位は今日の社会でその関連性を失ったと言うとても多くの人々がいる
でGoogle翻訳してみると
There are so many people who say that the university degree in humanities science has lost its relevance in today's society
ほぼ同じ英文が出力された
後は細かい文法的修正を加えただけ
私の考えを支持する３つの理由がある
もGoogle翻訳すると
There are three reasons to support my idea.
てゆうまんまそのままの英文が出力された
最終段落も
これらの理由によって私は人文科学は今日の社会でさえ重要であるに違いないと信じる
でGoogle翻訳すると
For these reasons I believe that humanities must be important even in today's society
とまんまそのままの英文が出力された
このスレの多くの英文は英語板の工作員がGoogle翻訳で
英文書いて自分で添削して人がいるように見せてるだけ
多くの英文は工作員がGoogle翻訳使って書いてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1556953667/
27 プロ固定プロ名無しだらけなのが見えないか？ [sage] 2019/04/28(日) 13:33:20.48 ID:J/+xI0bu0
★過去に流失したプロ固定の報酬表★
【料金表】
スレ立てる：+200円
スレ削除される：-5000円
スレストされる：2000円
ゴミ箱逝き：-1000円
DAT落ち：-500円-
1000突破：+1000円
1レス付くごとに：+1円
30分で1000：+5000円
1時間以内に1000：+2000円
6時間以内に1000：+1000円
24時間以内に1000：+500円
リミッター発動：-3000円
鯖飛び：-5000円
プロ固定(別名：煽り屋、マーク屋)とは、要するにサクラの役割などを担う２ちゃんねるの関係者のことだ。
奴らの仕事内容とは、主にサクラ要員としての掲示板を盛り上げと、
掲示板内の意見を２ちゃんねるの望むように煽動する行為、２ちゃんねる批判潰し、
スレの言論コントロール、２ちゃんの広告スポンサーの意向に沿わない書き込みの妨害と火消し行為、これがら彼らの主な仕事です。
これらは２ちゃんねるを見ている人間にとっては周知の事実であり、 雑誌にも紹介されているのが実際のところです
＞内部K者「井上玄氏」の日記は大変興味深い内容でした。
＞２ちゃんねるの「プロ固定制度」とは、
＞サクラ要因として、２ちゃんねるの運営側が、
＞スレッドの盛り上げや沈静、そしてサイト荒らしや
＞２ちゃんねる内、ネット社会全般での言論統制を行うものです。
＞２ちゃんねるには、 「プロ固定」と言われる給料を貰って毎日書き込みをする人物が、
＞各板に5人から15人、います。 一人の職員は、たいてい３つ以上の板を掛け持ちします。
＞２ちゃんマガジソにて取材を受けていた人物は全員プロ固定です。
まさか自分は英検１級だと偽ってGoogle翻訳使って書いた英文で
合格したとか言い出すとか
ほんとひどいゴミが住み着いてるね
それはお前の唯一の友人のキチガイ。
自分でGoogle翻訳で英語書いて自分で褒めてる
この英語板の自演工作員
英語板は一人の工作員の自演レスで水増しされてる
https://lavender.2ch.sc/test/read.cgi/english/1555575841/
ここは工作員がGoogle翻訳で書いた英文投稿して、自分で添削してるだけのスレだから
それが仕事なんだ
Should rich people be required to pay higher taxes?
Proponents of flat-rate tax systems claim that progressive taxes are not fair for people who work hard.
However, I believe that rich people should pay higher taxes
because of social equality, academic backgrounds, and the economy.
First, progressive tax systems lead to social equality.
For example, rich people and big companies can use their funds to invest in more businesses while taking control of their risks.
However, poor people do not have the chance to earn a lot of money at a time.
That means the poorer they are, the more difficult it is to improve their economic situations.
They should be supported by reducing their taxes.
Second, rich people are more likely to receive higher education.
That means they can acquire more useful skills and information to get higher positions in society.
Also, such universities and colleges are more or less supported by the government even if they are private schools.
Working hard often means using many taxes.
Third, progressive tax systems improve the economy.
Some might argue that a flat-rate tax help the economy run smoothly, but it is not true.
The richer they are, the more difficult it is to use a lot of money.
Therefore they often save much money and it leads to depression.
For the reasons mentioned above, rich people should be required to pay higher taxes.
> Proponents of flat-rate tax systems claim that progressive taxes are not fair for people who work hard.
However, I believe that rich people should pay higher taxes
because of social equality, academic backgrounds, and the economy.
Proponents of flat-rate tax systems claim that progressive taxes are not fair for people who work hard.
However, I believe that rich people should pay higher taxes
,considering social equality, academic background, and economy.
For example, rich people and big companies can use their funds to invest in more businesses while taking control of their risks.
However, poor people do not have the chance to earn a lot of money at a time.
That means the poorer they are, the more difficult it is to improve their economic situations.
They should be supported by reducing their taxes.
First, progressive tax systems lead to social equality.
For example, rich people and companies can use their funds to invest in more businesses, managing their risks..
On the other hand, poor people do not have the chance to earn an enormous amount of money at a time.
That means the poorer they are, the more difficult it is to improve their economic situations.
Therefore, I believe they should be supported with tax reduction..
That means they can acquire more useful skills and information to get higher positions in society.
Also, such universities and colleges are more or less supported by the government even if they are private schools.
Working hard often means using many taxes.
Second, rich people are more likely to receive higher education.
Wealthy families can afford more tuition for children,
and those children tend to be educated private schools,
which allow students to acquire useful information and skills.
They are more likely to get higher positions in society,
Those private schools are partly funded by the government.
(Therefore, alumni in those schools should be conducive to society by paying higher taxes.)
Some might argue that a flat-rate tax help the economy run smoothly, but it is not true.
The richer they are, the more difficult it is to use a lot of money.
Therefore they often save much money and it leads to depression.
Third, progressive tax systems can stimulate the economy.
Some might argue that a flat-rate tax can help the economy run smoothly, but it is not true.
The richer they are, the more difficult it is to consume their abundant money, which may lead to a(n economic) depression
since money cannot be circulated in society, Consequently, the gap between the rich and poor could be solidified,
and many children will lose opportunities to become future tax payers. . .
>For the reasons mentioned above, rich people should be required to pay higher taxes.
For the reasons mentioned above, rich people should be required to pay higher taxes.
>and those children tend to be educated private schools,
and those children tend to be educated at private schools,
第一段落と最終段落は簡素化しています。
Should rich people be required to pay higher taxes?
I believe that rich people should be required to pay higher taxes for the following reasons.
Firstly, rich people become rich by gaining excessive margins.
For example, the recovery of a company is thanks to not only a few workers’ contribution,
but also that of all the employees. Nevertheless, if a few workers’ salaries stand out,
they should be asked to pay higher taxes for fairness.
Secondly, societies that have a huge gap between the rich and the poor are unstable.
Many conflicts or crimes occur around the world due to this gap.
Certainly in Japan the gap is not as big, but while part timers are increasing in number,
billionaires are also appearing. Therefore, it is necessary to stop this trend
by forcing wealthier citizens to pay higher taxes.
Lastly, all people should be afforded the chance to contribute to society.
If the tax revenue paid by the rich can be used for the poor, such as financial support for education,
all citizens can be given the chances to be educated and so contribute more to society as future taxpayers.
In conclusion, rich people should pay higher taxes for the stated reasons.
詳しい添削と参考エッセイまでありがとうございます
今から熟読しますがさしあたりお礼言わせてください
いえ、どういたしまして。構成、英文ともにうまいから練習を積んだら
合格点を貰えると思います。
ちょっと分からなかったのは
while taking control of their risks. かな？
それと一つ注意点だけど、a lot of はカジュアルな表現なので、
こういった論文形式の文では避けた方がいいってことですね。
ところで、数か月前、高校生で１級合格を目指してる人がいたけど
それは貴方かな？って思ったんだけど、そうじゃない？
while~の部分は、大金を使える大企業が投資などでリスクを分散しつつ金儲けが可能ということを書いたつもりでした
今問題集の模範解答見てもa lot of使ってないの初めて気づきました直します
僕はその人じゃないですが高校生が目指してるの凄いですねw
なるほどhedgeを掛けてるんだね。
https://ejje.weblio.jp/content/risk+hedge
https://ejje.weblio.jp/content/hedge+the+risk
日本語は習得が難しい言語と言われています
Google翻訳で
こうなった
辞書で
be said to be something /do something
であると言われている
ってなってる
個人的にはなんでto beってなるのかよく分からないけど
つまりSとCの関係だからbe動詞は妥当。
learnの目的語がa difficult languageになって変じゃない？
Japanese is difficult to learn.なら
learnの目的語がJapaneseでいわゆるタフ構文
変じゃないよ。そういう書き方をするんだ。
っていうからね。
ネイティブはinを言わないこともあるかもだけど。
それはeasyが形容詞だからタフ構文で正しいのはわかるよ
The Amazon is dangerous to swim in.
The Amazon is a dangerous river to swim in.
後者は正しいのかってこと。
100～のスレッドの続きを読む